


Kwamis are nocturnal

by Spottedlittlebug



Series: The Book of Kwam [1]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Comedy, Gen, Nooroo is so done, Plagg is a Little Pain, Trixx and Plagg conspiracy, using random triggers to write this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-03
Updated: 2018-09-03
Packaged: 2019-07-06 05:59:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15879978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spottedlittlebug/pseuds/Spottedlittlebug
Summary: After an important meeting at Master Fu's finished late into the night, the kwamis got to sleep over. But with a certain cheeky kwami around, could anyone get some rest tonight?





	Kwamis are nocturnal

All was quiet tonight. Everyone, including the superhero duo, was fast asleep.

Everyone except two very awake kwamis.

'Plaaagg. Stooop!' whined Tikki. The little kwami was starting to regret ever wanting to sleep over at Master Fu's. The old guardian invited them to discuss important plans with the other kwamis, after being overjoyed at finally reuniting with Duusu, the peacock kwami. It was very late at night by the time they finished, so he offered them a place to spend the night and rest till morning.

Well… As much rest as one could manage with an embodiment of destruction around. Ever the mischievous cat, Plagg was zooming around the room, snatching every tea towel he could find for his own, selfish needs. It just so happened that a certain red kwami was snuggled in her own fuzzy blanket her chosen gifted her. That is, before being roughly separated from it.

'Plagg! I swear if you don't give that back…', grumbled the little red being, clearly annoyed. Plagg, however, already hid under all the different tea towels, along with Tikki's blanket.

'If you're not nice I won't let you in my blanket fort', he quipped, trying to hide his snickering.

Tikki groaned while dragging her little limb across her face in exasperation. Don't get her wrong, she loved her other half. But then again, everything had limits. It was just a coincidence that Plagg loved crossing those. 'I don't want to get in your blanket fort! I want my blanket back.'

That only made the little cat laugh all the more.  _Of course_  it would.

Tikki was never one to lose her temper, and she wasn't starting now. Instead, she snatched away the tea towel Plagg was using as a roof to his 'fort', before dashing in a red blur, smirking all the while.

'HEEEYYYY!' The action caught Plagg's attention, leading to a wild kwami chase. Tikki was now enjoying herself, cackling slightly as Plagg kept whining and complaining.

A loud yawn erupted from a dark corner. 'Guys, just chill! We're trying to sleep here'. Though the poor turtle kwami was ignored by the two darting ones.

Eventually, Tikki stopped near the ceiling, tea towel held up high in a victorious way. 'You want this, you'll have to give me back my blanket.'

Plagg groaned loudly and zoomed to his fort before coming back with Tikki's special blanket. 'Here. Take it', he grumbled, before whining, 'How come your chosen makes you nice things?'

Tikki exchanged the two fabrics as she said, 'maybe it's the fact that you complain too much?'

She then went back to her spot, before cuddling in her own blanket, which usually smelled of…

_Cheese?!_

'PLAAGG! How  _dare_ you eat camembert over my blanket!'

The cheeky kwami could be heard from his fort. 'Look, Tik. I love you and your pretty voice but I just want to sleep right now.' After a moment, he added, 'plus I didn't eat over it. I simply wiped my mo-'

'You can stop talking now!' interrupted the bee kwami. Having the disturbing imagery of Plagg getting stinky cheese everywhere was enough to fuel Pollen's nightmares for a week.

All was quiet again… for a couple of minutes.

'Hey, Trixx. Wake up.' The orange kwami groaned slightly as Plagg poked his side.

'What is it, Plagg?'

'I have come up with an amazing plan. Want in?' Plagg could have been buzzing from excitement. Trixx was a little sceptical. The last time he helped Plagg, they ended up accidentally starting the hundred years war. However, his love of troublemaking became unbearable. 'Sure. What do you have in mind?'

Plagg grinned as he whispered, 'let's draw a moustache on Master Fu.' Trixx was taken aback by the comment. 'Doesn't Master Fu already  _have_  a moustache?'

'I know. But what if we shave it and draw him one in its place?'

Honestly, that plan was ridiculous. Even by Trixx's standards. 'This has got to be the stupidest plan you've ever come up with. Of course I'm in!'

After a handshake to bind their agreement, Plagg whizzed away, before coming back after a moment. 'Do you want to use a shaver or scissors?' he asked, teeth shining through his cheeky grin.

Trixx seemed to ponder that thought for a while. A shaver would be neater, but then they might risk nipping his skin. On the other hand, scissors just won't neatly cut them.

His thought process was quickly dispersed by Plagg's annoying moan. 'Come on! We don't have all night!'

'Don't have all night for  _what_  exactly?' Both plotting kwamis stiffened, slowly turning to the source of the question.

Pollen was floating behind them, limbs crossed with an unimpressed look plastered on her face. Along with some green cream, but that's besides the  _point_.

Plagg opened his mouth to reply but was stopped by Trixx's claim.

'I have a date with destiny.'

Both kwamis were now staring at the orange fox, who held a limb over his chest in mock proud.

'What… was that?' Plagg managed to say.

'You heard me.' Trixx asserted.

Pollen, though, did not tolerate nonsense. She suddenly pointed her limb towards the fox. 'You. Stop talking.' Then, she pointed at Plagg. 'You. Start talking'. She knew Plagg couldn't hold a secret well. Especially if there was camembert involved.

Plagg shook his head and turned his back to her. 'Nuh-uh'.

'What about for a wheel of camembert?' she slyly asked, almost teasing.

Plagg's ears perked up and he turned his face a little. 'A whole wheel?'

' _Plagg! No!_ ' But Trixx's attempts at stopping the kwami from spilling the beans failed miserably.

'We're going to visit my parents', he rushed his words.

 _Wait, what?_  Thought Trixx, before face palming. What he just witnessed was Plagg's lame attempt at hiding the truth.

Pollen quirked an eyebrow. 'Wait. You have parents?'

'Of course I do! Would I lie to you?' huffed the cheese-lover.

'And who, pray tell, are they?' Pollen further probed.

Silence.

'Aha! I knew you were lying!' Pollen pointed an accusing limb towards the cat. All Trixx could do was watch them, entertained.

'Okay so I lied', Plagg blurted, flailing his arms. 'People lie all the time. My parents lied to me about Santa Claus.'

'Didn't you just admit you lied about your parents?' Trixx deadpanned.

' _Touche'_ , Plagg shrugged.

'Wait, did you lie about having parents or about visiting them?' Came a small squeak from below. Everyone turned their heads down, meeting Duusu's curious gaze. Apparently, the little peacock was listening to the conversation from her cosy spot on a pillow, after having spent the night so far reading a book, wide-open in front of her.

Plagg only shrugged in response, to the girls' irritation. 'You know what? I don't care, as long as you stop being so loud. Everyone else is aslee-' the blue kwami was interrupted by the cheeky cat. 'You? Not  _caring_? Pl- _ease_!' he scoffed. 'You're by far the most emotional kwami I've ever met.'

Yet when Plagg met an offended Duusu's furious gaze, he gulped audibly. If looks could kill, he would have lost all his nine lives in a heartbeat.

'I have twenty pages left in my book and if you don't shut up I will do one of the following. Scream, cry, or throw my book at you', the peacock seethed through gritted teeth.

'Guys, guys, there's no need for violence, or screaming.' Trixx flew between the glaring kwamis, giving them all a pointed look. He sighed, 'Plagg and I were planning on drawing a moustache on Master Fu-'

'But doesn't Master Fu already have a-'

'I know. That's why we were going to shave him first. Now, either you keep quiet about it or join us in our endeavour.'

' _If_  we chose to help, what would we do?'

Plagg piped in, 'you could be our  _spies_. We don't want Wayzz's loyalty ruining everything.'

Everyone was quiet for a minute, as both Pollen and Duusu contemplated the offer. It was Pollen who spoke first…

More like huffed. 'No thanks.' She then flew away into the darkness of the room.

'Yeah, just go', dismissed Trixx, 'You would make a terrible spy anyway!'

'I'm in.' Plagg and Trixx did not expect sweet, sensitive Duusu pulling such a prank on  _the_  Great Guardian. Both shrugged, 'okay', before all three headed somewhere quiet to plot.

* * *

Wayzz was snuggly tucked into his bed made of a matchbox, dreaming blissfully. Suddenly, he felt a small nudge that pulled him back to reality.

'Wayzz? Are you awake?'

He forced his eyes open, only to find a red kwami by his side, eyes wet with unshed tears. 'Tikki? Are you alright?'

Tikki shifted uncomfortably, 'I-I-I've had a nightmare. Marinette usually helps comfort me, but, well, she isn't here right now and… yeah.'

Wayzz hugged his friend, trying to dispel the unease her nightmare created. 'It's alright, Tikki. Do you want to talk about it?'

Tikki nodded slowly. 'In my dream, Plagg was a giant blanket-eating pac-cat.'

Wayzz just stared at his friend in disbelief. 'You really like that blanket, don't you? Maybe the stench of camembert from the blanket caused that bad dream.'

He moved the blanket she was clutching towards him, trying to smell how badly Plagg ruined it.

It was bad.

'Come on, follow me. Let's get this horrible stench off it.' Both kwamis flew to the closest sink.

'Why do you and Plagg disagree so much and quarrel so often? Aren't you supposed to be ying and yang?' Wayzz asked.

'Maybe that's precisely why we sometimes don't get along. But that doesn't mean I don't like him.' Both went quiet as they scrubbed the blanket.

'We can dry it using Master's hair drier. It's in his bedroom', explained Wayzz.

* * *

Duusu kept her distance as Plagg tried shaving the left side while Trixx was snipping at the right side. The two kwamis couldn't decide on which tool to use for shaving the moustache.

So they agreed to disagree.

'Duusu, you're missing out on all the fun!' whispered Plagg.

'I'm fine', replied the peacock.

'Come on, Duusu. You could always use a lighter to burn the hair off.'

'If anything explodes, I'm leaving', Duusu deadpanned, while Trixx snickered quietly.

Plagg flew into a small drawer and came back out with a big wooden stick.

_This can't be good._

'Here you go, Duusu. Your very own matchstick!'

'I thought you wanted to use a lighter?' She asked.

'Nonsense. Master Fu does not have lighters around. So a matchstick will do.'

Duusu was horrified at the fact that both kwamis were going to set Master Fu's hair on fire. 'You can't be serious. Okay guys, that's enough.'

'Nonsense! We haven't even drawn his moustache on yet.'

Just then, Plagg scraped the match on the bedside, lighting it in the process.

'Wow. How come these matches can be lit like that?' Trixx asked curiously.

'Master Fu's over a hundred years old. Surely his matches have to be old as well. Right?' Plagg chuckled naughtily.

' _Just WHAT are you two DOING?!_ '

Plagg and Trixx yelped in surprise, the former dropping the match in the process.

'Tikki! Hey!' Trixx welcomed, while Plagg stared at the match slowly setting fire to the small carpet.

'Whoops.'

That was the last straw, pushing Duusu too far. 'That's  _it_! I've been trying to keep an eye on you two, even trying to shove some sense into your dense heads but  _noooooooooo_! You'd rather _burn_  Master Fu's hair!' The peacock kwami was panting in rage, flushing red.

Wayzz and Tikki, in the meantime, were back in the bedroom, carrying a water jug.

After putting the fire out, all but Plagg sighed in relief. Everyone was glad that Master Fu was one of the heaviest sleepers on Earth. Otherwise they'd all be in trouble.

It was at that moment that Pollen decided to fly in. After taking in the scene, she huffed, metaphorical nose held snobbishly high. 'I am not cleaning this up', she quipped before whizzing back to wherever she was resting.

'Now what do we do?' asked Plagg.

' _We_ are doing  _nothing_. You two, however…' Tikki glared daggers at both cat and fox.

'Goodnight boys. Have fun!' Wayzz teased. It was about time both cheeky kwamis learnt their lessons. He was followed by Tikki and Duusu, who settled in their own comfy spots.

'What do you suggest?' Trixx asked. He was met with Plagg's toothy grin.

'Since we're nearly there, let's draw the moustache on.'

'Okay… Do you have the marker?'

'I thought you found one.' It seemed Master Fu did not keep markers around.  _There goes our mission – our destiny_ , both thought miserably.

'Now we're in trouble'. Both kwamis had solemn looks on their faces. Until Plagg's metaphorical light bulb turned on.

'Not necessarily.'

'What do you mean?' Trixx asked, confused.

'We just have to put everything back to normal', was Plagg's only reply.

All was quiet tonight… Or rather, what was left of it.

* * *

Sooner than anticipated, morning shone through the apartment's windows. Master Fu was already in the kitchen, putting the kettle on the stove. As he waited for the tea to be ready, he decided to head to the toilet for a shower. However, he was interrupted by a knock on the door, which he opened.

'Hello, Ma- _aaaaaah!_ ' Marinette started greeting before shouting in surprise, eyes wide and hands reaching protectively in front of her face.

Master Fu was a mess. It seemed he shaved his moustache, then decided to glue the hair back on. The messy moustache was outlined by what looked like eye liner. She ignored the question around why Master Fu would have a makeup kit bubbling in her mind.

'Good morning, Marinette. Is something the matter?' He asked, concerned.

The girl's eyes flickered between Master Fu and the kwamis behind him shaking their heads.  _Oh. Tikki was in so much trouble_.

'U-uh, what?  _Pfft_  no! I mean. You look… Different this morning. That's all. I-Is Tikki ready to be picked up?'

Master Fu eyed her suspiciously, then nodded, inviting her in.

'N-no, my parents want me at the bakery,  _pronto_! So, I-I have to go. Bye!' Marinette rushed down the building, Tikki tucked safely in her purse.

 _What a strange girl_ , Master Fu thought,  _but she still is a great Ladybug_.

The kwamis, apart from Plagg and Trixx, wore shocked expressions. When they told the troublemakers to clean up, they never expected  _this_  to happen!

Pollen was especially furious. 'You  _used_  my  _EYELINER?_ ' She then zoomed towards her makeup kit, checking her favourite tube. The eyeliner looked like a chimney sweep's brush, with actual hair stuck on it.

'You two are so dead!' she grumbled, as another knock on the door sounded.

'Hey, Massssssss… ter Fu!' Of all things Adrien expected this morning… Seeing Master Fu looking like that was just hilarious.  _And sad_ , he added.

'Good morning Adrien. Are you alright?' Master Fu was suspecting something. Behind him yet again, the kwamis were shaking their heads while flailing their limbs in a  _'don't say anything'_  way.

Unfortunately, the blond was just  _that_  oblivious.

'Um. Do you need help shaving, Master?' Adrien asked good-naturedly. The old man always wore a moustache and goatie. Maybe he forgot how to shave and tried to cover up his bad job?

Or it could be that Plagg, being the cheeky kwami he is, did this to the poor man.

_Nah… Definitely the first option._

'I'm not sure what you mean', said a most confused guardian.

'It's okay, Master. If you practice more often, you'll get the hang of it.' Adrien offered. Plagg facepalmed.

'Get the hang of what?'

'Shaving. What else?' That was the point where Master Fu would contemplate the riddles Adrien shot at him, while striking his incredibly sticky moustache.

_Wait what?_

As he held his hand out, he could see tiny hairs stuck on his fingers, along with a black colour.

_Oh. So that's what happened._

Meanwhile, a teenage girl was having a heated argument with her red kwami.

'Just how could you?'

'I'm telling you the truth, Marinette. It wasn't me. It was Plagg and Trixx.'

Marinette sighed and massaged her forehead. They've been "discussing" the situation for a few minutes now.

'Marinette, you have to transform. Then, you can use your miraculous cure.'

'Wait, it would work? But I thought it only did if there was a magical intervention.'

'Plagg and Trixx  _are_  magical, Marinette! Now hurry, before Master Fu realises what happened and possibly gets akumatised.'

A 'spots on' later, Ladybug threw her yoyo in the air, shouting 'miraculous ladybug!'

'Please work', she hoped. The idea of fighting an Akumatised Master Fu did not sound appealing.

* * *

Master Fu was about to turn around to face the two delinquents, when a light of ladybugs rushed in the room, encircling him before leaving again.

Hopeful, he glanced at the nearest mirror. His moustache was restored, thank Goodness.

Of course, that did not mean that both kwamis were out of trouble yet.

He looked pointedly at the fidgeting beings, until Trixx broke first. 'It was Plagg! He forced me to do it!'

'What? I didn't force anyone. Anyway, Duusu was supervising us.'

'I-I-me?! I was trying to make you stop whatever you were doing. It wasn't me who set the carpet on fire!'

'Wow! You actually did that? Who set Master Fu's carpet on fire?' asked an amused Pollen.

'It was Plagg!' shouted both Duusu and Trixx.

Plagg merely scoffed. 'Yeah right. It wasn't meant to fall on the carpet.' He couldn't blame Tikki since she wasn't there, so he accused the next best kwami. 'Wayzz made me drop it.'

'I did no such thing!' the accused defended.

'Why did you light the match in the first place?' Pollen was clearly enjoying this.

'To burn Master Fu's moustache off-'

'Quiet! Everyone!' Everyone suddenly swallowed whatever retorts they were about to quip and looked at the guardian. Adrien just shifted at the door, clearly confused by what just unfolded.

'I'm disappointed in all of you. You're all billions of years old for Goodness' sake! Yet you still act like little toddlers.' After quite a large scolding from Master Fu's part, the cat kwami was reunited with his chosen, ears droopy in shame.

'I'll see you soon, Master', Adrien waved and left.

'Now', Master Fu headed towards the miraculous box, 'I shall now summon you two back into your miraculous jewels'. He opened the hexagonal box, taking the bee, peacock and fox miraculous in his hands.

'I should never have let you out all night like that.'

After reciting a small enchantment, the three protesting kwamis were gone. Master Fu sighed in relief, happily enjoying the quiet…

… Which lasted about ten seconds.

'Maaaaasteeeeeer!' Came a loud cry from a familiar black kwami.  _Not again_.

Plagg zoomed back in Master Fu's house, 'Master! Adrien wants to do something horrible to me!'

Down the hallway, one could hear a very frustrated Blond looking for his kwami.

Master Fu raised an eyebrow, 'and what is that horrible thing he said he'd do?'

Plagg looked devastated, arms flailing wildly. 'He's going to cut off my camembert supply!'

Master Fu only chuckled. This was too funny. Just then, there was a knock on the door.

'Looks like you'll be dealing with the consequences of your actions.' Master Fu went to open the door, welcoming Adrien in.

'Where's Plagg? I know he's here.'

'Well, he did tell me you weren't going to feed him camembert anymore. But how will you transform if you do that?'

Adrien thought for a moment, then answered, 'Plagg seemed to like eating anything the first time he appeared in my room. I'm sure  _anything_  will do.' He smirked while Master Fu chuckled once more.

'Wise answer, Chat Noir.'

' _What?! You're siding with HIM?_ ' Plagg looked furious.

* * *

Somewhere dark and smelly, a big window whirred open, revealing an adult cosplaying in a purple suit.

'Ah. What better than anger fuelled by betrayal? Go my little akuma, and darken his – wait. I can't feel a heart.  _Dammit!_  I can't  _evilise_  him. Nooroo, dark wings fall.' Nooroo flew out, clearly exhausted. 'Nooroo, how come I can't  _evilise_  him? I couldn't feel his heart. Could it be that. No it can't be.'

'What is it, Master?' Nooroo was trying to hide his distress. Could Gabriel have figured out that he felt the cat kwami's anger? If he did, he'll be able to pinpoint the source of the feelings. Then it's game over.

Gabriel looked seriously at his kwami. 'Could it be that I sensed… A  _vampire_?'

Nooroo's eyes widened in surprise.  _What?_

'Nooroo, change of plans. We can't have vampires roaming around Paris. What if Adrien becomes a victim? I won't have my son become a live blood bank!'

Nooroo was completely unimpressed. But that did not deter Gabriel, 'I'm going to become a vampire hunter. "Helsing Moth,  _Vamp Hunter_ "', he moved his hand in the shape of a rainbow as he suggested his new name.

'Okay, that's it. I've dealt with your ridiculousness for months, but I've just about had enough.' Nooroo took Gabriel by surprise when he lunged towards his ascot tie, snatching his own miraculous. 'I could've done that in a long time, but  _noooooo_. Master wanted me to play damsel in distress. And for what? The man loves playing  _matchmaker_  using the  _miraculous_! I had to deal with your stupid puns you deemed fitting enough as villain names. "Copycat?" "Kung  _Food?!"_  Really? Plus, why do you have to keep saying ' _evilise'_? It's not even a real word! Now you want to abuse my powers to hunt  _vampires_?! Well, guess what. I'm SICK OF IT!' That said, Nooroo took off out of the window, butterfly miraculous in hand and surrounded with all the white butterflies, leaving a shocked Gabriel behind. 'What just happened?'

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! I hope you enjoyed my first ever fanfic. I kinda found a few triggers on the net and decided to use them in this.
> 
> For those of you who are as curious as a cute kitten, here they are:
> 
> "If you're not nice I won't let you in my blanket fort"  
> "I love you and your pretty voice but I just want to sleep right now."  
> "This has got to be the stupidest plan you've ever come up with. Of course I'm in!"  
> "I have a date with destiny."  
> "Okay so I lied. People lie all the time. My parents lied to me about Santa Claus."  
> "I have twenty pages left in my book and if you don't shut up I will do one of the following: scream, cry, or throw my book at you."  
> "You would make a terrible spy."  
> “If anything explodes, I’m leaving.”  
> “I am not cleaning this up.”
> 
> I'd love to hear your comments. If you have any triggers, let me know and I'll try my best to come up with another kwami story.


End file.
